"why God, why? and other thoughts on middle America"
Monday, July 18, 2005 Filed in: random
musings
so... i've spent the
last few days hanging out in Nashville, Tennessee
with a brief stay in Somerset, Kentucky. what the
crap is going on out there?
i am, now more than ever, fully convinced that God never intended for the middle states to actually be inhabited by people. i mean, seriously! what are people doing out there? (note to the reader: just as a warning... don't ask people there that question. they tend to get offended and quickly go on the defensive. although, i must say, it is entertaining to hear them try to tell you why it's better than California... always good for a laugh, those middle-staters are!) there's nothing going on there.
if you know me at all, you know of my FIRM belief that country music is of the devil. (if you know that, then you probably also know that my parent's cat, Jake, is in fact the devil from whom all country music flows.) so, now i'm voluntarily going to visit a place that is proud to declare itself the Country Music Capital of the World!?!?! i'm a pretty freakin' good person to put up with that crap for my family/friends who have been dumb enough to move there. (perhaps an award should be bestowed.)
so... here is a summary of what i've learned/had confirmed in the past few days:
1... the middle states are only for flying over or driving through.... quickly. they're simply there to make you put in some effort to get to the other side where the good stuff is.
2... people that are normally annoying... are 10-15 times more annoying when they have a southern accent.
3... everyone in Tennessee is still in high school as all anyone there seems to do is sit around and gossip or complain. however, they do it with a huge smile on their faces as they pretend that life is just so gosh-darn amazing. also, if you accused them of gossipping or complaining, they will go to any length neccessary to deny it because they honestly believe they weren't doing either.
4... nobody really knows anyone there. seriously... these people put a HUGE amount of effort into being fake. as referenced in ..3, it is very important to a person in Tennessee to seem, by all outward appearances, that life is absolutely perfect. these are the same people who's lives are actually falling apart and are living in a deep denial.
i'd compare it to Stepford. it's just weird.
anyway, i'm sure this is an overgeneralization and not everyone is like this. however, even good people get sucked into it, i'm sure. it's like high school... it's hard not to get sucked into the popularity contests and gossip sessions. run for your lives.
i will say this for them though... they've got some great food. and that might make all the rest totally worth it.
i am, now more than ever, fully convinced that God never intended for the middle states to actually be inhabited by people. i mean, seriously! what are people doing out there? (note to the reader: just as a warning... don't ask people there that question. they tend to get offended and quickly go on the defensive. although, i must say, it is entertaining to hear them try to tell you why it's better than California... always good for a laugh, those middle-staters are!) there's nothing going on there.
if you know me at all, you know of my FIRM belief that country music is of the devil. (if you know that, then you probably also know that my parent's cat, Jake, is in fact the devil from whom all country music flows.) so, now i'm voluntarily going to visit a place that is proud to declare itself the Country Music Capital of the World!?!?! i'm a pretty freakin' good person to put up with that crap for my family/friends who have been dumb enough to move there. (perhaps an award should be bestowed.)
so... here is a summary of what i've learned/had confirmed in the past few days:
1... the middle states are only for flying over or driving through.... quickly. they're simply there to make you put in some effort to get to the other side where the good stuff is.
2... people that are normally annoying... are 10-15 times more annoying when they have a southern accent.
3... everyone in Tennessee is still in high school as all anyone there seems to do is sit around and gossip or complain. however, they do it with a huge smile on their faces as they pretend that life is just so gosh-darn amazing. also, if you accused them of gossipping or complaining, they will go to any length neccessary to deny it because they honestly believe they weren't doing either.
4... nobody really knows anyone there. seriously... these people put a HUGE amount of effort into being fake. as referenced in ..3, it is very important to a person in Tennessee to seem, by all outward appearances, that life is absolutely perfect. these are the same people who's lives are actually falling apart and are living in a deep denial.
i'd compare it to Stepford. it's just weird.
anyway, i'm sure this is an overgeneralization and not everyone is like this. however, even good people get sucked into it, i'm sure. it's like high school... it's hard not to get sucked into the popularity contests and gossip sessions. run for your lives.
i will say this for them though... they've got some great food. and that might make all the rest totally worth it.