"waking up is hard to do"

waking up is, for me, not the best part of the day already. i'm a night person. i'm not a morning person. i LOVE my sleep time. since waking up is what marks the end of sleep time, i don't always like it so much. but when things aren't going well, it's even worse.
Photo 102


when i'm upset or depressed or whatever, sleep is my great escape. you know how people always talk about losing sleep over things they're worried or upset about? not me. i usually sleep better when i'm upset about something. it's my chance to get away from it all without going anywhere. which brings me back to waking up.

have you ever had something bad happen or been worried about something or upset about something and then you go to sleep and when you wake up, for a split second you feel fine? you feel like everything is okay, but this is just setting you up for the overwhelming letdown of the next second when you remember how crappy everything actually is right now. and it's just that much more impactful because you had this sorta blissful ignorance that you can have during sleep and that one second after you wake up before you realize it's all not real.

sorta a crappy way to start your day. but, every day gets a little better than the last as you get some distance from whatever event set this whole system into motion. i'm on day three now. life doesn't suck or anything. i know that. i just had a really, really crappy beginning to this week.